The Belonging Architecture 🤝

Last week, we talked about the Boot Process — adding a new node to your team. But plugging a machine into a network doesn't mean data flows safely, as most of you here might already know.

Before any real work happens, you need to establish a secure connection. You need a Handshake Protocol.

Early in my career, I always felt the instinct to spend "more time than needed" with finalists and new hires. I wanted to build a collaboration contract, but it was mostly based on gut feeling.

Then, two years ago, I had the opportunity to work with Marcelo Sousa. He introduced me to the "Contributions & Expectations" exercise. It was elegantly simple:

1. I write down exactly what I bring to the table (and what I don't).
2. I write down exactly what I expect from my manager.

Anything that falls outside each other's boundaries, we sit down, we discuss, and negotiate. Two professionals ready to win together.

It was a lightbulb moment. Marcelo wasn't just chatting; he was defining the API contract. I immediately adopted it and built it into my own "Handshake Protocol" — a series of discussions I have before someone signs the offer, and then 1:1s again right after they join:

The 5 Nodes of the Handshake Protocol

1. The Unwritten Docs (Dogmas)

We explicitly discuss the unwritten rules of the team. How we communicate, how we disagree, and most importantly, our "safe-to-fail" baseline.

2. The Win Condition (Vision)

Why we are here, what the vision is, and how we actually win together. Nobody shows up motivated to just show up — we're here to change the world, one day at a time.

3. The Network Map (Stakeholders)

Who we work with, who blocks us, and who champions us. How do we think about our ecosystem, and how do we collaborate to become amplifiers for each other.

4. The API Contract (Marcelo's Exercise)

We exchange our Contributions & Expectations. No guessing. No implicit resentment. Clear expectations set on the table — and we revisit them every 1–2 quarters to see how they evolved and what else changed.

5. The Sanity Check

I lay it all out and ask: "Does this actually make sense to you?"

Every single mile we run together needs to make sense. It won't be perfect, we will experience load and downtime, but we won't be running blindly toward a system crash.

The Leadership Reality Check

This handshake is the chance I give every person entering my team: Join me, and let's push the limits of what's possible. Or, look at the contract and realise we aren't aligned — and that is perfectly okay, too.

Thank you, Marcelo, for the upgrade to my operating system!

---